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1995-08-18
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821b
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31 lines
TOP TEN WAYS THE U.S. WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF IT WERE OWNED BY
DISNEY
10. Defense Dept. spends billions on "Flubber" missile
9. Convicted killers must listen to "It's a Small World" for the
rest of their lives
8. Presidents on Mt. Rushmore rigged up to sing like barbershop
quartet
7. Winning athletes exclaim, "I'm going to any random spot in the
country!"
6. We'd get to see Janet Reno in one of those tight Mouseketeer
outfits
5. Al Gore replaced by more lifelike Audioanimatron
4. Platoon of Country Bears sent to Bosnia as "Operation Jamboree"
3. We'd bomb Busch Gardens back to the Stone Age
2. Just like cows in India, sacred mice would wander the streets
1. Instead of Whitewater, Goofygate
Letterman, Friday, August 4, 1995
Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1995